As time past and the years began to add up i ventured a few times into online dating. Several times men would contact me, want to see a picture and never follow-up. Realizing that most men i was interested in were looking for younger i began to look closer at men in general. My married friends complained about how loud the TV was, how much they were tired of picking up after their wonderful husbands and i began to seriously consider if that was wanted i wanted.
Been there-done that kept resounding in my head. Mr. Right would be coming with far more baggage than i was interested in carrying, First of all i had bad knees, second of all i was getting in the age of too old to change and not willing to compromise. My husband of twenty three years had hurt me deeply. He promised to take care of me for the rest of my life but had decided that maybe he would prefer not to. My heart ached for many months from his rejection which i am certain raised my anxiety factor in welcoming someone in to to my life. I knew i never wanted to hurt that bad again.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Finding Mr. Right
After my divorce in 2001 I spent a good amount of my time redefining and refocusing my life. I found myself in the same place many other women before me had found themselves, alone, little money, and without a partner. The first few years I was busy moving, changing places of employment, and welcoming my granddaughter into the world.
A handsome man would catch my eye and I would give contemplation of pursuit. Mentally I would find the many reasons why I wasn't interested in dating. Most men in my age group were looking for women twenty years my junior or they were still living with their mother or they were looking for someone to raise their elementary school children since their wife had past. I catalogued and categorized dating in my head, shook my head vehemently no when these situations came up and continued happily and safely down my path of solitude.
A handsome man would catch my eye and I would give contemplation of pursuit. Mentally I would find the many reasons why I wasn't interested in dating. Most men in my age group were looking for women twenty years my junior or they were still living with their mother or they were looking for someone to raise their elementary school children since their wife had past. I catalogued and categorized dating in my head, shook my head vehemently no when these situations came up and continued happily and safely down my path of solitude.
The Ride
I woke up with a numb sharp pain running down my left arm. I considered the possibility of a heart attack or stroke which of course left me searching for medical help. On my journey to the hospital I seemed to begin to see some things with clarity.
First of all it occurred to me that this could be the last day of my life and what was running through my head as i breathed through a little oxygen tube and listened to the beep of the heart monitors that all I had been before would be over. I began to catalog my life and consider if I was the person I had wanted to be and if I was proud of my life.
In many ways I was. I had raised to wonderful children, been a good wife and been a successful teacher in public education for over twenty years. However, what dawned on me was that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life the way I was at that moment- alone. Thus began my path to find Mr. Right.
First of all it occurred to me that this could be the last day of my life and what was running through my head as i breathed through a little oxygen tube and listened to the beep of the heart monitors that all I had been before would be over. I began to catalog my life and consider if I was the person I had wanted to be and if I was proud of my life.
In many ways I was. I had raised to wonderful children, been a good wife and been a successful teacher in public education for over twenty years. However, what dawned on me was that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life the way I was at that moment- alone. Thus began my path to find Mr. Right.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)